Kumquat to Take Advantage of the "Innovative Filmmakers Grant"
Yeah, we’re doing it. We understand that some readers might feel betrayed, but it’s not a loss for art, it’s a win for YOU! Think about all the new ways Kumquat can reach you with financing from our pal, Steve! For instance, meet Kummy Norwood, our AI-newscaster with a penchant for punch-lines! Kummy will be the face of the Kumquat, the voice of the people, and will win us that top-Dodge-dollar with her performance in our upcoming short film: “Jesus Christ: Satire Star”. It doesn’t stop there. Now that our writers have the help of generative AI, we can streamline every stage in the article-writing process (coming up with an idea, writing it). With our workflow optimized, we’ll be rolling out an article every week. To save paper, we’ll only post the first issue of every month across campus. You can find the rest of the articles on our Kumqua+™ Platform (just $4.99/mo). We hope you consider supporting our organization, and remember, it all goes back to you (and our shares in Palantir)! Thank you to all of our loyal fans for following us into this exciting new frontier! Praise Allah, Yahweh, and generative AI!