Hey bitch! What’s up! How have you been? Awesome, so excited for you! Anyways, we wanted to thank you for following the kumquat on insta and twitter (@chapmankumquat). We really appreciate it... receiving those follows is such a highlight for us...but as of recent the Kumquat has more followers than our personal social media accounts :/ Would you mind doing us just a little favor — figure out who we are and follow us. We can’t come right out and reveal ourselves because that’s just desperate and tacky, but like … please find out who we are. Everytime The Kumquat tweets an okay joke, it still gets 20 times as many likes our best tweets. For the sake of our egos, please discover us.
Xoxo,
Your silly lil editors in chief