Self Defense 101: Orange Fountain SHOOTS Somebody!
It’s about damn time! After years of being a victim of drunk and irresponsible drivers, Orange County quit the wimp shit and armed the Old Towne Orange Fountain with a Glock 19 (9mm) and an AR-15 to keep the peace.
While the blue-haired, they/them barista radical left would have you believe that the local mother was “turning to enter the roundabout,” the Orange Fountain has seen enough crap to know a gay muslim anarchist transgender solo-poly amputee radicalized commie when it sees one. Local police are already investigating her (NYU film school graduate), widow, and (Fans of Islam) children to stomp out potential accomplices completely.
Regardless of what happened on the scene, the Mayor of Orange County has made an announcement that the fountain has complete legal immunity to kill whoever the fuck it wants. Then added reverently, “What happened to remembering 9/11? Zohran Mandani Bad Bunny Super Bowl!”
So it looks like this month the fountain will flow exclusively with liberal tears.