SGA Secedes, Declares Argyros Forum Sovereign State

In the wake of the SGA freeze, presidential candidates Jason Wu Chen and Max Wiseman have announced that they will be withdrawing their electoral ticket, instead joining forces and retaking control of Chapman University in a bloody coup to declare the school a sovereign state.

“We’ve already seized control from Jerry Price and Matt Parlow,” said Chen in a statement, pointing to their bloodied heads on pikes outside the Piazza.

“We pay the tuition, and yet the means of production are not ours? All power to the people,” said Wiseman in an exclusive interview. When asked of the political leanings of the newly established Chaptopia, he said it was “left of Cheney, a few clicks right from Marx.” We do not know what that means.

Wiseman’s Beta brothas have been enlisted to enforce martial law as Chaptopia finds its footing on the international stage. Pushback from the U.S. government and the UN has been met with a formal challenge via beer pong tourney. Chaptopia is expected to win and earn its sovereign right, according to the odds on Kalshi.

“We’re doing this for you,” Chen told us. “It’s time for not just our paws, but for us to rise up too, panthers.”