When Phi Gamma Delta and their groupies embarked on their Spring Break Cabo trip, they never imagined the toils in store for them.
Read MoreStruppa Drops and Shatters the Worlds Biggest Diamond
Struppa really dropped the ball! Or should we say “diamond”.
Read MoreNew “Trickle Down” Panther Buck System a Smashing Success
It’s only been two weeks since the brilliant new system–which rewards those with better grades more Panther Bucks and Caf swipes–was put into motion.
Read MoreFrom the Editor's Desk
I’m back bitches.
Read MoreUgly Public Breakup Making it Really Hard to Study For Midterms
On the third floor of Leatherby Libraries, things got messy in an argument between couple Michael Bradley and Lia Jones.
Read MoreOne Maskless Student in Class Also Big Hugger
She’s the only person without a mask in class. She needs to read the room and stop trying to greet us like we live in fucking France all the time. She’s from Ohio, nobody does the double kiss on the cheek thing in Ohio.
Read MorePete the Panther's Rebrand
Chapman asks the hard hitting questions… like what if Pete was a furry?
Read More"Omg I'm Not In Dodge Haha everyone Keeps Asking Me That!" Says Girl For The 47th Time This Week
Guys oh my god stop asking me if I’m in Dodge hahahaha!!! I told you before I like WATCHING movies lolzzzz!!!!!
Read MoreAbsolute Chump Actually Bought The Textbook
Imagine buying the textbook (VIRGIN!!!!!)
Read MoreCouple Caught Having Sex Outside Fish Interfaith Center
Number one way to get on Struppa’s hit list: canoodle.
Read MorePizza Press Guilty of “Pulling a Willy Wonka”
Last week, five lucky students were shocked to find golden pepperonis on their custom, thin crust pies, forcing them to compete for the position of CEO of Pizza Press.
Read MoreFrom the Editor's Desk
XOXO
Read More4 Dead 7 Wounded in Canvas video assignment disaster
Unfortunately for Señora Hendriks’ Spanish 102 class, The New York Times recently released an article on how to engage zillennial students in class.
Read MoreSmall Business Spotlight: Pike's Fake Vaccine Cards!!
Look at them, using those Intro to Business notes!
Read MoreEditor's Letter
I heard bad boy editor tottttaallllyy fucks
Read MoreOpen Letter From the Street
A PSA from the Streets: FUCK NON-WALKABLE CITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Read MoreNew "School of Staunch Discipline" Elicits Controversy
“We have a very rigorous, unfun selection of majors (but a smaller selection for women) to choose from.” -Prof. Ebenezer Scrooge
Read MoreFood Left in Fridge Over Interterm Now Alive
Upon reading this, the number of missing students just jumped to 90.
Read MoreOh my god... this feels SO GOOD!!
Thinking about the next time I start coming down with symptoms……
Read MoreWait, Sororities Don't Just Have, like, Little Sign-Up Sheets?
Wait. Pause. There ISN’T a Google Form for this??????????
Read More
