Dodge Elitism Turned "Upside Down"
Dodge students incoming, enduring, and exiting have long touted Stranger Things' Duffer Brothers as THE Dodge Alumni. Their show’s success brought eyes to the otherwise average program, giving way to funding, connections, and a disproportionate amount of gloating. However, with Season 5 being the dumpster fire that it was, what do we have left to Smile 2 about? Who will incoming Dodge classes tell their friends about when asked, "What the fuck is Chapman?" At least we still have the Ted Sarandos Masterclass and “How to be Funny,” taught by the wildly famous Hugh Fink.
Who am I kidding – the Duffers fucked us. Soon, the Hollywood Reporter, with whom our school has been salaciously in bed for over a decade, will run out of reasons to rank Dodge fourth in American film schools. That means that even our most delusional students won't be able to complete the mental gymnastics required to claim that Dodge is “technically number one,” which so many have loved to do. With this massive blow, the realization that Conformity Gate will never come out, and Toby's all but impending demise, Dean Galloway has been placed on suicide watch by P-Safe.