Three Ways to Tell if Your Roommate is Gay or if There Really Was a Snake Bite “Down There”
Checking for bite marks doesn’t help. While most snake bites leave a mark, peni already have a bite-sized hole for cum/pee/blood/storing the smaller lego pieces, so yeah, sorry, best move on to step two.
Frothing at the mouth. Here’s the thing with “frothing at the mouth”: it either means you’re doing too bad a job or WAY too good a job sucking the venom out. Best skip this one and move to step three.
Refusal of the Call. If you can’t tell if your roommate is gay or a snake bit his penis, maybe just don’t do anything. Yesterday, my roommate Levi Mobasser ran into our dorm yelling about a snake bite. I couldn’t tell if he was being serious; he watches Glee. So I just kept reading my favorite book, “500 Baby Boy Names”.
Dedicated to Levi Mobasser, who is currently in the hospital for who knows what. Get well soon, I love you (no homo).