True Tales of a Daily Tinder User

As students and faculty at Chapman settle in to enjoy another Valentine’s Day, one staff member is still hard at work.

The beginning of Black History Month marked the start of the mad scramble between the students of Chapman University to prove who the wokest is.

For the past few days, and the foreseeable future, I have been the tragic (though beautiful) victim of a cyber bullying attack.

Distract yourself for complete and utter loneliness!

Devastation. That’s how sophomore sweetheart Ashley Bates described waking up the third Saturday of 2019.

After approximately 45 minutes of steady drippage, the rain has forced over 97% of SoCal natives into deep naps.

Sandra, we get it you went to the Galapagos, but now let me tell you about my winter break.

Yeah, you can actually get credit for these.

Everyone stops to stare at the big ass panther hanging off Beckman...you know, for Christmas?

What started as a language credit has become an ikigai, or “life’s purpose,” for communications major Dennis Owens.

Like, really badly.

“Oh id luv to Carl, but im swamped with finals (water gun emoji, water gun emoji). Maybe another time??”

If you ever wondered what anonymous donor is paying for a bunch of fake snow, it’s you.

Tom Smith is a little too excited for Undie Run.

This is all super true, how would you even know? We both know you weren’t there.

Don’t get him wrong, he wants y’all to have a good time tonight, he just would love it if you could use your inside voices.

Chapman student, now alumnus, Brandon Carson enjoyed a small gathering of close friends to celebrate his birthday in MKS 208, while still waiting for his computer to sign on to his student account.

Freshman Tyler Wilson recently began working as Struppa’s personal assistant. Wilson told The Kumquat what a typical day of working for Struppa entails.

When it comes to creative conflict resolution, student Michael Baumgartner may just have everyone else— including his roommate— beat.