This past month, as Pralle residents searched for a midterm study space, they were impeded time and time again by a terrifying phenomenon: the twelve-person freshman friend group.

Living 3.7 miles from campus can be rough, especially when your bae lives in The K.

Freshmen skate crew “The Wheely Wheely Good Skaters” is on the grind for an additional grimey grom to fill in for our boy, Dylan.

The Hashinger Basement Cucumber incident last year sparked a national conversation about fraternity hazing, and Chapman has been forced to tighten their regulations.

Chapman-approved wall adhesive and sticky tack were nowhere to be found in Kramer’s dorm, despite numerous confederate flags hung up on his walls.

Word is out that taking 40 rips from a flavored e-cigarette might just be unhealthy.

After rolling up his sleeves, Alan (as the students can now call him) told the class that he sometimes likes to joke around with his students, but all in good fun.

Put down the protein supplements, get the fuck off those ellipticals — your favorite excuse to eat basically ice cream is back and more accessible than ever.

Rising sophomore Aaron Carney is reportedly “very excited” to be condescending as fuck to his freshman friends this semester.

When Dean Jerry Price took a “We’ll Tell You if You’re Having a Hot Girl Summer” Buzzfeed quiz - the results were conclusive.

There’s a lot of excitement at the beginning of the year, but we here at The Kumquat think it is equally important to reflect and mourn what we’ve lost.