Senior Moves to NYC for “Dream Service Industry Job”
Sophia is excited to announce she will finally take the risk and move into her own $3000 one bedroom apartment in Bushwick.
Male Student Busted for Busting on Reagan Bust
Reagan has been shot, although this time with a different type of bullet.
Senior Advice for the Incoming Freshman
What is one piece of advice you’d give your younger self?
SAD: Graduates Miss Jerry Price’s Backflip After Getting Distracted By Loud Plane
Yooooo Jerry do a flip!!!!!!!
Smith Hall’s Masturbating Ghost: Great Metaphor for Graduating
John Cassian, a staunch Catholic and ghost stuck in purgatory in Smith Hall room 206, refuses to ‘go into the light’ for fear of going to Hell.
OPINION: End Drought-Resistant Landscaping
As an Instagram-based climate activist, I’m all about saving the turtles, just not when it’s this fucking ugly.
Grandma’s Actual Death Limits Future Absence Potential
Josh Smith had been using the “My Grandma died” email as a surefire way to get out of class for years.
Student Claims K-Apartment, Citing “Squatters Rights”
Chapman should have less housing, probably.
New “Macro Friendly” Station Opens at the Caf
Looking for more ways to contribute to your glorified eating disorder?
Three Girls Stranded In Fiji After Uber Takes Them To Actual Fiji
“The Fiji party was supposed to be 1920’s prohibition era themed so I was a little confused by all the sand”
Chapman Gym to Install Insecurity Stalls
Finally, the voice inside your head (that your therapist tells you not to listen to) has been heard!
Stop Texting Your Boyfriend In Class I’m In Love With Him Too Now
“What do you want from QDOBA, babe?” My heart skipped a beat.
Breaking: Fetty Wap to be Hired as New Dean
Stephen Galloway will be stepping down on the first of next month and will be replaced by the artist of those three songs you know. Say hey what’s up hello to…the legendary Fetty Wap.
Neighbor Threatens to File a Noise Complaint Unless He’s Invited to the Party
“Let me in on your little orgy or I’ll file a noise complaint.”
New Language Class Taught By Charlie Brown Teacher
“WAH-WAH WAH, WAH-WAH WAH. WAH.”
Translation: “You are gay”
Girl in 10AM Friday Class Really Wants Everyone to Know She Went Out Last Night
Noooooo one knows I’m still drunk from last night in my morning labbbbbbbbb. XP
Do You Feel Ugly or Are You Just a POC?
Confused and dazed? Struggling to feel normal? Having difficulty waking up and putting your boobs on? It's possible that you’re either super ugly or just a person of color at Chapman University.
Wilkinson celebrates grant of $20
Wilkinson College, the “heart and soul” of Chapman, excitedly announces “big things” this semester after receiving a generous donation of $20.
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