Finally, the voice inside your head (that your therapist tells you not to listen to) has been heard!

“We are thrilled to unveil a fourth star on our prestigious Walk of Fame for Janet, who plays girl number 3 in the new season of that one show about college kids!”

RA’s get one universal key and think they’re god or something

All Hail Dean Baniele Buppa !!!!!!!!!

Don’t be fooled by Chloe Stricker’s pin that claims we have “nothing to lose but our chains”, as they were recently spotted at the worst chain of all: popular fast-casual “Mexican” (racist) restaurant conglomerate Chipotle, an anonymous source tells the Kumquat.

THE RA’S HAVE GUNS NOW MOTHER FUCKERS

they dont… right? someone please let me know

It’s only been two weeks since the brilliant new system–which rewards those with better grades more Panther Bucks and Caf swipes–was put into motion.

On the third floor of Leatherby Libraries, things got messy in an argument between couple Michael Bradley and Lia Jones.

A PSA from the Streets: FUCK NON-WALKABLE CITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You fucking idiot. You really thought?

While many panthers struggle to adjust to quarantining at home, one notable Chapman figure lacks sympathy for students.

Maybe my circadian rhythm is off, maybe it’s because I keep getting wine drunk at noon, or maybe the constant Little Caesars delivery is throwing my hormones askew.

Lindsay Cain is worried about whether or not her friends will forget about her while she’s abroad, but she has nothing to worry about. They will.

 Sophomore Ian Isaacs is going to...Ethpaña!

On Saturday, Pi Kappa Alpha, also known as “the scary frat,” hosted their Annual Veteran’s Day pool party.

Sophomore Connor Hewitt didn’t ask for much. He just wanted to go to a mid-size school. He also just wanted to make out with a girl and then never see her again.