Guys oh my god stop asking me if I’m in Dodge hahahaha!!! I told you before I like WATCHING movies lolzzzz!!!!!

Imagine buying the textbook (VIRGIN!!!!!)

Number one way to get on Struppa’s hit list: canoodle.

Last week, five lucky students were shocked to find golden pepperonis on their custom, thin crust pies, forcing them to compete for the position of CEO of Pizza Press.

Unfortunately for Señora Hendriks’ Spanish 102 class, The New York Times recently released an article on how to engage zillennial students in class.

Look at them, using those Intro to Business notes!

A PSA from the Streets: FUCK NON-WALKABLE CITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“We have a very rigorous, unfun selection of majors (but a smaller selection for women) to choose from.” -Prof. Ebenezer Scrooge

Upon reading this, the number of missing students just jumped to 90.

Thinking about the next time I start coming down with symptoms……

Wait. Pause. There ISN’T a Google Form for this??????????

I am 19. Just a freshman, new to the area, fresh outta Mary Jane.