Struppa Denies Allegations of “Werepanther” Loose on Campus
The real allegation is that there were “7” people at the football game.
Orange Liquor Store Cashier Has ‘Something Special For You in the Back’— Turns Out It’s Lost Kingdom of Agartha
This past Friday, I entered Orange Liquor with the usual goal in mind: buy a pack of raspberry Smirnoff Ices for a little pregame with my girls.
Physically and Mentally Superior GMO Freshmen Poised to Benefit School
I always knew eugenics was the answer!
Masterclass Popularity Plummets Due to Lack of Famous People!
4th best film school? Not for long!
Chapman Wonders Why You All Expected Dorm Pool by Labor Day, After Saying it Would be Done by Labor Day.
So that’s why the meathead next to me in Econ 202 was wearing a speedo in class…
Dodge Lobby Inspires Other Schools to Follow Suit!
where will the hanging spiderman go in leatherby?
Charles C. Chapman Returns Via Cryochamber: New Policies to Come
uh he’s right behind me, isn’t he…
Girl So Tired After Driving to LA for Very Important Internship
Ugh, I can’t believe I even came out tonight! I’m so exhausted. The 405* was sooo clogged up on the way home.
Struppa discovers lesbians, now taking action
I was feeling a little extra prideful upon discovering the existence of lesbians after watching Portrait of a Lady on Fire for the very first time.
Chapman on Merging Queer Studies and Women’s Studies: “Wait, the L in LGBTQ Doesn’t Stand for Ladies?”
L (Ladies) G (Gay boys) B (Bible) T (Tiktok) Q (Qunt) I (Incel) A (Agnostic) + (Whatever you want, baby ;))
That Could’ve Been Bad: Chapman’s Anti-Transgender Club is Apolitical
In a recent statement, an executive of Wokenouns, Chapman University’s fiercely controversial anti-transgender club, has clarified that the group is, in fact, apolitical.
BREAKING: FRUIT NEWSPAPER NOT THAT FRUITY?? Cartoonist Speaks Out.
NO GAY BITCHES ON THE KUMQUAT.
Senior Moves to NYC for “Dream Service Industry Job”
Sophia is excited to announce she will finally take the risk and move into her own $3000 one bedroom apartment in Bushwick.
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